I know how to make Nachos.
It's hardly rocket science.
And it's fast.
You'll need a bag of triangular corn chips, some decent salsa, a chilli/2, a block of cheese and some feta.Nachos need dip, so use sour cream and avo. Drop some Tabasco, lemon juice and black pepper into the avo for 'extra zest'. See, just like a TV chef.
Layer the grated cheese and salsa over successive 'beds' of the chips until you run out of chips.
Put any grated cheese you have left on top of the lot and stick it in the oven. Keep an eye on it while you sip your tequila, taking care to remove it before you burn the cheese on top.
Now, top it all off with crumbled feta, black pepper and some coriander for 'flair'.
There. How easy was that?
Well, it might be for us, but it's clearly quite a fucking challenge for the filthy hippies at Rafiki's, Kloof Str, Cape Town. Last night I ordered their chicken nachos and ended up paying R34.00 for a plate of stale chips, a smattering of diced tomato and onion and about as much cheese as I could sneeze at you. And it was cold. And it was delivered to the table about 20 minutes before anyone else's order.
Here's the moral, in case you were waiting for one: Don't order food at Rafiki's. Hippies can't cook.
Until the next lesson, stay 12.